There Oughta Be a Law

Really, I don’t know what these tea people are on about. Now, I am a person, well okay I’ve only been drinking puerh a few months, but I bought all the teas they tell me I should get and you know what, I just don’t like them. Still I know my taste and for a fact I can buy teas a lot cheaper than that Hype cake for $38 at white2tea, just look at Yunnan Sourcing you will find puerh teas that cost a lot less than that. I just can’t find any right now but I know there are some, true fact.

Quite honestly I am so tired of Yiwu and all those sweet teas that guess what, they are hongcha and oolong!!!! They are all made into oolong!!! If they are not oolong, then they just taste like wood and dirty leaf pile. Supposedly they have fruit notes and spice notes and flower notes and lemon notes and probably cliff notes (no what thet’s yancha), and who wants cliff notes I don’t know, but I really don’t like the wood and leaf profile. They better be for real super aged like the teas I bought on Amazon last year which still taste like something and cost me a lot less!!

Otherwise, if you want to tell me about other teas I will have to demand proof. I don’t mean proof like bloggers posts, because bloggers either lie or they all get free tea or paid to write and anybody can blog. I mean objective proof. Seriously I’m a STEM and that means show me the research because yes, we are going to science the fuck (thank you Greek lady) out of this puerh tea or else it’s just all made up, all hype, yes HYPE and you will pay $38 for a mere 200g for the privilege of posting on Twitter just how cool you are with the foodies telling you where to go to eat spaghetti. And you will pay $25 for that plate of spaghetti, I’d rather buy the sauce and eat it on a potato. If you haven’t done that, try it sometime.

Show me the research and I mean links, and more links because it’s up to YOU to prove me wrong. Also I want shou that isn’t Bulang and tastes like brown mud because this is what I bought so far based on everyone else telling me what to get. (Does NOT taste like chocolate.) I am happy to try what you suggest and I will do it right away and tell you whether I like it or not. I am doing the same with 2018 because all the teas I tried so far just are not good and I don’t see any reason to try them again at this point. I have made up my mind by now. Maybe I can get a refund. If you want samples I have plenty which I can sell to you because I don’t want them, and even some supposed old ones because they just are not aged enough. And don't believe the whole qi thing, there is no qi in any teas, smoke weed like I do if you want qi.

Bottom line, I really cannot find any better puerh than what I bought a long time ago and it has been fine in my plastic takeout tubs at least six months now. Unless you can prove to me differently I don’t see the reason to spend any more money at this point, though maybe I will if I can find something under $30, which I probably can and it will be a lot better than the teas people keep chatting about. Waiting 20 years is just dumb. Stupid Hype people, be smart like I am and save your money, or better yet buy coffee if you feel as done with puerh tea as I do.


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