1. Someone brews you a teabag, and you taste the bag.
2. “What does it say on the box?” registers as, “what box?”
3. Do you like mushrooms? Means not pizza.
4. You would never brush your teeth before puerh, and depending upon what you drank maybe not after.
5. Still no room on any shelf, anywhere in the house.
6. In the event of severe supply chain issues, I’d still rather have all that tea than gold under the floor.
7. I’m paranoid of anyone now who says they like tea.
8. I’m paranoid of anyone who says they have a tea name, date or original wrapper. Don’t care who you are.
9. I’m paranoid of anyone who says they want to come over.
10. Tell the doctor you drink tea and they think either tea bags or green tea and tell you “good job,” but if they really knew, they would up my beta blocker and run a pesticide test.
11. I’m paranoid of anyone who tests the tea, but for no reason I tend to trust the tea more and order it anyway.
12. I tried to entirely stop buying tea. I’m paranoid of anyone who succeeds.
13. I’m trying to force a tasting of a yancha that I did order and pay for and I can’t do it. Three months I tried and failed.
14. The “I need a new kettle” is never done.
15. Everyone I live with can fuck right off.
> 4. You would never brush your teeth before puerh, and depending upon what you drank maybe not after.
ReplyDeleteIt is scary how true this one is.