I'm moving my puerh collection out to the three season porch for the summer humidity season, and testing many of my teas to see how they are coming along. It's tiring moving tea around to preserve a beeng of one tea and half a brick of another merely to keep them tasting their best. Dear Son says my tea habit is out of control, but of course he is just wrong. Today I looked at him and realize I have no idea where he came from. He can't possibly be related to me in any way. And now, I'm fairly certain those humans in all my family photos are not really my parents. That's right. I think I'm one of the Tong People.
For one thing, I can finally be relieved of keeping up appearances amongst the local population by pretending that I drink coffee. I will be rid of all those sensible discretions like buying single tea cakes and ridiculous samples. Tong People never buy anything less than a Whole tong, preferably three or more and nobody calls it hoarding. Obviously, storage is simply not an issue. The Land of the Tong People must be a blessedly warm and humid place where people don't have to bother with tea fridges and pumidors, or make do with vintage stoneware crocks and underwear dresser drawers. They just pile tongs up in the living room right out in the open. So a Tong lifestyle gives new meaning to household furniture. I won't need to feel embarrassed anymore when sleeping with my tea, nor hide it from my psychiatrist. I can just place a wood slab right over tong legs and call it a table. Gone too are days living in fear that the Humane Society will take away my cat when he chews on the bamboo and licks the fishy mini shou tuos we all know are really just pet treats for Tong cats.
One reason Tong People buy so much tea is because they drink it all day long as a family. I can finally send out real paper invitations openly to the neighbors to come over for a bowl without worrying about the cops. Or about the landlord calling the fire department. Tongs have deeper reasons that only the Tong People understand. As proof, Honza recently commented on TeaDB that tea heads really need to drink into a tong to understand a tea. Thus the Tong People have a deeper understanding of tea cakes than anyone else. While I can believe that a good tea is still excellent three cakes in, I don't think a crap tea gets any better the more of it I drink. But in the world of Tong People, money for tea is simply never a budgetary issue. In fact, I will get a tax write-off for my Bad Tea when I donate it to the Salvation Army for shut-ins. And then once a year they will invite me to a really big Chair-a-Tea fundraising event, where I can wear my best dress and show off to everyone how much money I spent on tea, and just how much I gave away this year. People will clap instead of calling my ex-husband.
|mrmopar's dream house.|
|Allan's weekend errands.|
Requiescat in Pace.