Today I am thanking the good gods who made me a puerh tea hoarder. If you're like me, we started early enough on our collections to sit pretty today on a chair made of tongs. I need not worry about how long viruses last on packages and tea because I have my own dirt built right up into my collection to enjoy. Ditto the teaware, I can go at least a month without washing anything and drink tea every day. I need not worry about crawling from my bed in a desperate search for clean tea ware, I have a whole display case with the best of the best just awaiting my whims.
Not that I don't have worries. I have a denier in my household named Mr. B. who is now in a full-blown manic episode. Try sheltering in place with a manic person, you have all the entertainment you need for 20 hours a day, just the talking itself lasts for a good 15. I get to while away my time listening to all kinds of rambling, singing and whistling. Mr. B. likes to listen to quack AM radio stations and says the virus is a Hoax to enable the government to impose martial law. So he sees no reason to curtail his goings about in the community. In fact, he is gone at the moment and I have no clue where he is. I can't stop him myself and I expect to pay whatever price he does, although Mr. B. has been kind enough to pay me in weed. My son too has to go out to work his food related part time job, so at this point my own behavior probably won't matter much and thus I can smoke and drink my life away before something worse surely gets me.
I feel bad for people who need to hoard toilet paper. In a pinch I have plenty of bamboo and paper wrappers, and even a bamboo tea scoop with a handle the consistency of a corn cob. People around here say nothing good comes from China, they haven't a clue how good I have it and so I need not pack heat like the guy who owns the smoke shop down the street with a revolver at his belt. My tea is not a fire hazard when safely ensconced in large crocks like every good farm lady does with her food.
In fact, my plan is a healthy 7542 to beat the scourges of the ages and I'd get that tattooed on my arm if the governor hadn't closed the ink parlors. I bought coffee just in case, apparently the more green the tea the more alkaline, and acid is what we need to fight viruses. One jar of instant coffee suffices, I don't need to build up a stockpile of what won't get drunk. Mr. B hoards coffee anyway. I feel so good playing with my tuos and ever so glad the rest of the world around me knows squat all about puerh tea. Just think of the supply problem if the neighbors caught on.
So cheer up and carry on, my fellow puerh hoarding friends. Let us enjoy the goodness of the Yunnan harvests in the comfort of our homes. Keep in touch, people. I'd love to know what you are choosing to drink up in the days to come.